oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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