he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
