I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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