If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
