He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
