my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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