Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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