I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
