Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
