Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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