How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
