that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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