i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
