P.S. I can't hear my feet
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
