Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
