I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
