the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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