my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
