Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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