Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
