If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
