I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
