I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
