just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
