i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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