My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
