We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
