I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
