he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
