Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
