You just made me feel so damn special
I want to make a zoo with you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
