Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I touched a dick in church today
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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