GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
