I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
