Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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