We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
