Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
