You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
