I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
