the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so let's talk penis.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
