you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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