well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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