I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
