Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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