Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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