it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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