her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
