He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
