Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
