bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
