i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
