the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
