just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
