Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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